Passing Out From the Awesomeness

It was one of the most hideous mistakes which I practically tried to avoid. Some would say I’m an introvert for what I’ve been acting these past few weeks. Why didn’t they give me the benefit of the doubt? Why didn’t they think that there is something beneath the surface? Because there really is something, of course.

I suppose some people are just like that — ego-killers and jerkinators, talking trashes behind my back. The hard part is I can’t do anything about it. I’m feeble as a chick. I’m somehow being lost in my own thoughts, incurring feverish distraction.

I’ve been there. I’ve done that. A lot of times I wished I was never that easy to fall for somebody. A lot of times I wished you weren’t that sweet enough to make me feel I am that much bizarre to you. Call me stupid and I’ll thank you for letting me face the bitter taste of reality that we aren’t going anywhere. Shoot me right through the head but I still won’t forget how special we’ve been and how hoping I am for us to be more than that. I hate myself for being so melodramatic, seeking meanings behind every act, behind every remark. Hopeless romantic, the right expression, I guess.

I tried to stay away from you, even meeting your eyes but it’s like cutting the dose of my own medicine. Everything is vague and reverted. But then, who knows what to expect from someone who treats you extra-special? Maybe it is my entire fault to sugarcoat every little thing you do. How am I supposed not to think that way when all you’ve done, all you are doing and all you will do is bound to make me feel blissful? You give me hundreds of reasons to be happy but can’t we just be happy together? I can’t help it. I simply C-A-N-T. Pathetic. Crazy. That’s what I am and that’s all I’ll ever be but you don’t seem to notice. You just keep on thinking how different I am with the others. And with that, I’ve passed out from the awesomeness of these twists and turns of my being.